‘Cheryl’s dresses are tiny’ shocker

So Cheryl Cole has just auctioned off some old dresses for charity. Commendable.

But some of the bidders are now moaning that they can’t get any use out of the dresses, because they’re too small. Shocker.

Basically, if you’re silly enough to spend £714 on a dress, just because it’s got a bit of Cheryl Cole’s armpit sweat on it, then you deserve everything you get.

The dress in question is a size zero. But really, have they never heard of Cheryl Cole? She is known for being a lollypop – tiny body which makes her head look massive.

So of course, unless you are Cheryl Cole, you ain’t going to fit into one of her dresses.

Still, at least it raised a load of money for charity! So – stupidity can be good.

Peaches is all skinny an’ that

So Peaches Geldof has lost loads of weight.

That doesn’t mean she’s any less of a moron though. She’s just the same personality wise, but now has a body that more closely resembles that of Skeletor (who, if you’re too young to remember, was the baddie in He-man).

So yeah. She’ll probably still stumble out of clubs, say that she does drugs (whether she does or not) and generally act like an angsty teenager. But that’s her career in a nutshell and she’s done pretty well out of it so far, so her not eating Monster Munch and Haribo anymore probably won’t change her behaviour.

Goodbye Amy

It was such sad news to hear that Amy Winehouse passed away over the weekend. Although toxicology test results have not yet come back, it looks likely that drink and/or drugs will have played a part in her demise.

The soulful singer was such a legend. Instantly iconic in her looks as well as her performances and of course; that voice. She has well and truly earned a place in the infamous 27 club, but we wish she wasn’t there.

She only managed to release two albums and although they were stunning pieces of work, she still had so much more to give.

The girl epitomised Camden and its rock and roll culture and it’s fair to say that the legend will live on in her music and her never dying presence on the Camden scene.

Fearne Cotton gets more work

We bet she’s absolutely delighted that she’s still getting away with it, because surely of all people Fearne Cotton knows that she’s a bit of a useless invention.

Somehow, she’s managed to blag herself a career (probably more to do with her daddy than anything else) and now she has people falling at her feet everywhere she goes.

‘Oh I wish I looked like Fearne’, they say. Well you don’t. But you could make a desperate attempt to by purchasing all of her new designs for Very.co.uk.

Yes, she’s been allowed to earn even more money just because someone tells her what to wear and how to look ‘cool and edgy’. But don’t forget; you will never have her level of knowledge and understanding about new music. Thank goodness eh?

God Katie Waissel’s ridiculous

Ok. So Katie Waissel managed to bag herself a ticket to the O2 Festival. Well done. And it was a VIP one. Hang on, what?! And in this instance, what exactly does VIP stand for?

Oh dear, how very embarrassing.

But not content with that amount of ridiculousness, Katie then had to walk around in Doc Martins, grey and black stripey trousers, a cropped white vest, back combed hair and sunglasses. And on top of that, she had her right hand permanently fixed in the ‘rock’ gesture – usually reserved for actual rock stars.

Just because you know what it is Katie, doesn’t mean you’re entitled to do it. Now go back to Butlins, where you belong, and put your red coat back on.